Girl Talk: Lies We Tell Ourselves

Many of us are terrified of community. Webster Dictionary defines community as:

“a unified body of individuals; a group of people with a common characteristic or interest living together within a larger society”

The idea of community is so frightening to some people, that they will tell themselves a series of lies to keep themselves ‘safe’, and far from the place of authentic friendships. In Girl Talk, there are 3 lies that Jen Hatmaker outlines:

Inner Lie #1: I don’t really need anyone else
Society tells us we should strive to be independent – as if it were an admirable quality. And we buy into the lie and deceive ourselves. If we can’t see a need for having other people in our lives, then we won’t allow others to share in our lives.

Read Colossians 2:1-5 where Paul explains the benefits of love and unity. In verse 4, Paul warns us to, “See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of the world rather than on Christ.”

Inner Lie #2: I don’t want you deeply in my life
Sometimes in order to protect our hearts, we convince ourselves that we not only don’t need other women, but we don’t want them either. We might tell ourselves that it’s too complicated or play the ‘what if’ game: what if she talks about me behind my back …

We are relational beings because God created us for relationships. It is natural to desire deep relationships, even while we are pretending we don’t.

Inner Lie #3: Being vulnerable would be catastrophic
This is another opportunity for us to play the ‘what if’ game… What if she hurts my feelings, what will people think of me, what might happen?

What if … you admitted your struggle with anger, would anyone die? What if you allowed a close friendship to happen and you shared your insecurities with a friend. And what if she totally understood and helped you to have a new perspective on it?

Just take a minute to think about it - What lies are you telling yourself in this area? Trust God to help you kick those lies to the curb! Pray for the lies to be exposed, and ask God for the Spirit of truth to rule in your heart.