She Speaks '08

If you have read my previous posts, then you already know that I’ve been trying to go to the P31 She Speaks Conference for many years. Last year I decided to try again, and as I went to the website, it was a replay of the last time over 4 years ago - disappointment. The conference was going to be in 1 week, it was sold out and I couldn’t afford it. So on the first day of the conference as all the other attendees and speakers were gathering at She Speaks in North Carolina, I sat at home thinking of them and how I should be there with them. Then I felt as though God had whispered in my ear that if I really wanted to go, I would make it a priority, and start saving right now for next year. And that’s what I did with my birthday and gift money. Not only that, but my family saw my commitment and my husband and kids started giving money from their birthday gifts and other savings to help fund my trip. It was so touching to get a dollar from the kids when they got their allowance. Adam saved every extra dollar and sacrificed his spending money to put in my She Speaks fund. It really humbled me. A few of my great friends even sent donations to P31 on my behalf, and I am so thankful for their support and faith in what God will accomplish through me (you know who you are). God has just amazed me with showing His love through others, and giving me encouragement all along the way.

The conference is this week in Concord, NC, and I will be attending! Thanks so much to everyone who has encouraged me, prayed for me, and given to the cause financially. Especially to my family and church family, who will carry the load for me while I’m away. You guys are the BEST!

Would you pray for the Proverbs 31 Team as they prepare for this conference? Their team is experiencing personal attacks in just about every area as they are going to minister to over 550 ladies this weekend. Here is an excerpt from Lysa Terkeurst’s blog, she is President of P31 Ministries:

“Many of you know that our ministry team is getting ready for our annual "She Speaks" conference and we need your prayers.

I know God is going to do amazing things this year because the craziest things have been happening to everyone.

Either Satan is trying to thwart and discourage or God is just calling us to depend on Him in even deeper ways. Or maybe both.

People on our team have experience tornado damage to two different homes, an air conditioner stopped working on the hottest day of the year, a flea infestation at that same house with no air, broken arms, poison ivy, a husband that cut his hand so severely it will require surgery, another husband living with the possibility of losing his job, more poison ivy, the loss of a dear grandmother, a van totaled from a flood and the list goes on.

So, as you can see, my team could use some prayers and words of encouragement. If you have time to visit a couple of their blogs today and leave a prayer or a couple of kind words, that would bless my heart.”

I know how they feel, because our family has felt a lot of resistance too (new levels, new devils). Please keep P31 Ministries in your prayers this week and weekend, along with me and my family.

Have a great week!

Red Light, Green Light … (Part 3)

And so ask I did! It was all about the timing, and this time God gave the red light. God knew that I had more growing to do and if He let me go to the conference and make connections that I would run on ahead of Him. I would impose all of my own green lights and give God all the credit for it, until I would find myself out on a limb, asking God why He put me there and how long this time. God knows us so much better than we know ourselves, and I don’t know about you, but He often has to save me from myself! So, thank God for the red light - again.

The next four years brought good and easy-going times, tough and confusing times; always something stretching me to my limits in almost every area of my life. Sometimes I would scratch my head wondering why I was going through those things, and thinking there was no possible way God could use it for good. I just could not conceive of any way that God could have a purpose for allowing us to experience some of the things we did. Once again the excitement that I had for speaking and ministering to women was hidden in the back of my heart, and I put my dreams on the back burner, for what seemed like forever.

We relocated to another state, Adam took a new job, and we moved to an area where we didn’t know anyone. No church, no friends, no connections. How was God ever going to give us a platform to use the gifts He had given us? It just seemed impossible. For a while we focused mainly on our family for healing and refreshing, and eventually we began to focus again on serving others and reaching out to whoever came across our paths. We found a great church where we plugged in and started serving, doing whatever they would let us do. Just when it seemed that we were becoming content with where we were, God switched our light and it was green again. It had been so long, I thought it must have been my mistake. It was one of those things where I thought, okay, I’m going to look away and when I look back, it will still be red. But when God nudged me on the inside and caused all those desires to come flooding back, I knew it was Him and it was for real. And I knew that somehow, I still needed to be content with today.

We were already plugged in to our local church, and God began doing something even more amazing there. He gave us favor and friends, and knit our hearts together with the awesome leadership of our church. He started opening doors to serve in areas we could help share the load, and to continue what had already been birthed there. It was just mind-boggling to see God go before us, and even more amazing to us that He could and would use us after all that we had been through.

Today we are still serving at Canvas Church, and we love what God is doing there. He is growing His church, and we get to be a part of that! While we are helping to build the local church, God is still breathing desires and plans into us, and He is using our church to prepare for those things as well. It’s a win-win situation! And yes, I finally get to attend She Speaks this year!

As a family, we learned many things through those years. Some things taught us to be strong in our faith, while other situations humbled us, but every experience caused us to draw close as a family and even closer to God. We learned that we still have so much more to learn, and that helps us to stay teachable. God showed us that we can be content and effective where we are, even while waiting on the next green light with expectation.

We all know that green lights mean ‘go’, and we know that red lights mean ‘stop’. But ‘stop’ doesn’t mean forever, it means ‘stop’ only until the next green! So keep your heart and mind open for changes, and wait on God – He knows the way.

Isaiah 40:31 But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.

Red Light, Green Light … (Part 2)

Since I had agreed on the green light, it was full speed ahead, searching for any opportunity to hone my skills, looking for ways to help me grow in that area. After all, it was God’s idea – and I had to do my part, right? I began to get excited about this new desire God was building in me, and so I did what any good Christian girl would do … I began searching the internet for a conference! Well, I know it’s hard to believe with all the Ga-Zillion searches on the internet, but I couldn’t find ONE conference that I felt was for me! Not one! God, WHAT am I going to do now? As I sat in the silence I began to doubt what God had whispered in my heart, and I once again turned on the red light.

Months passed by as the excitement hid in the back of my heart and became a thing of yesterday. Consumed with just doing life, it was easy to move on and forget, at least for a while. Then one by one, God started bringing those whispers of yesterday back to the forefront of my mind, and tiny embers of hope sparked again. Knowing me better than I know myself, God wrote it plainly on the wall for me this time. ‘Cause I needed it. He is so creative and merciful, that I just have to marvel at Him. He sent ladies to me, one at a time, who spoke His words and plans to me. Ladies who didn’t know what God had whispered to me before. Ladies who encouraged me and believed in me and my ability to obey God no matter what. He gave them the green light, and they obeyed and shared it with me. When I didn’t have eyes to see it, or ears to hear it because my own doubts had been screaming so loud, God made His voice louder than any other. It was all I needed to go on with a constant green light – no more stopping for me.

Soon after that I began really pressing in to find out what this ‘plan’ looked like from God’s perspective, and what I should do on my part. God began to work on the inside of me first – which by the way – didn’t include internet searches! He showed me things in my character that needed refining, taught me the importance of prayer and intercession and encouraged me all along the way. Of course, there were the times I just thought I was crazy for going along with this because it’s such a huge responsibility. Can you imagine, being responsible and accountable for EVERY word that comes out of your mouth? And God, being the awesome Parent that He is, reassured me that I have to do that now anyway. I will just have more people to do it with! Thanks God – I needed that!

After I finished boot camp for character and prayer, God finally let me play on the internet again. There I was searching endlessly for, you guessed it, conferences! Once again I was left feeling like I would never find what I needed to help me. Then one day I visited Proverbs 31 Ministries and discovered She Speaks! Finally, a Christian ministry that equips women to Write, Speak, and Lead where God has called them. And they have a conference too! I was thrilled to say the least! I’m thinking, ‘Okay, where do I sign up? I’m ready. My light is so green right now, that bulb probably needs maintenance. My heart was racing as I rushed to the conference page, only to find out that I just couldn’t afford to go. Not with money, not with time. You see, I was homeschooling my 2 kids, volunteering about 30 hours a week, and my husband and I were in ministry school. There was just no way. Hey, wait a minute! What happened to my green light? A red light - where did that come from?

After having gotten that ‘nudge’ or that green light so clearly, I was moving right along, so I was pretty confused when suddenly the red shone through. Often when things start looking a little different or we begin to experience obstacles, we question ourselves: Wasn’t I on the right track, going in the right direction? Didn’t I do everything He had directed me to do? What went wrong? It’s good to examine ourselves for obedience and motives, but when we need to know the next step, shouldn’t we be asking God? He has the plan. He’s got the map. He knows every turn, every obstacle, and every red light. Ephesians 2:10 says “For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” You see, God prepared this in advance. He already knows what is around the bend and He is not surprised. And He will share that vision with you if you just ask as James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”