Guest Blog: Speaking of Girl Talk and laughing together...

For those of you who have not been a part of the Girl Talk connect group, I want to encourage you to jump in and make it a priority the next season connect groups are going.

For Laura's group, I would hide in the back bedroom with Ali (our Golden Retriever) while the ladies had fun in the front of the house. From where I was, you couldn't hear the goings-on, but I sure could hear the laughter. And there was a TON of it. Sometimes they would all get to laughing so much it made me laugh just hearing them! I was rejoicing in my spirit knowing that the memories and friendships that were starting, growing, and strengthening were all to God's glory.

When we 'do life' together, friendships are developed and those are the bonds that hold us up when we go through the valleys that Christ spoke of, which are sure to come at some point. We all have the potential to take ourselves and this life too seriously at times, and getting together with friends is a great way to keep everything in perspective and stay grounded. If we are not celebrating and loving this life that Christ died so that we could prosper in, what else is there. How are we a testimony to God's love and blessings if we are beat down and overcome by the world?

Tonight was the wrap up party for Girl Talk, and I can say that from the laughter and fun that I could hear from the other end of the house - those ladies really know how to laugh together! I am sure that every lady present over the last few weeks has had to make sacrifices to be here, but as Jen said in Girl Talk “I don’t want to breathe my last breath filled with regret. I don’t want to say, “I wish I had …”

Girl Talk: Laugh Together

In my opinion, one of the things girls do best together is LAUGH! You can catch us sharing funny stories over dinner, or giggling at the check-out line together. We know how to have fun, laugh until we cry and can be just plain silly with each other. And it’s okay - more than okay. It’s enjoying life together. It’s making memories.

Girls, it is so important for us to spend time with girlfriends laughing and enjoying life together. There are so many ways you can ‘set the scene’ for a little fun: Girls’ Night Out, run a 5k together, check out a movie, tell funny stories or jokes over dinner. With a little extra planning, you could organize a sleepover, rent a log cabin for a night, or take a road trip together. There you have all the ingredients you need to get started; the rest just comes natural.

The key is to purpose to do it. Purpose means to set as an aim, intention, or goal for oneself. We all have crazy schedules, along with 50 other really good excuses about why we can’t, or don’t have time. But the old adage is true; you will make time for what is important to you. And Girls, this should be important to you. Why should this be important to you?

Jen had this to say in Girl Talk: “I don’t want to breathe my last breath filled with regret. I don’t want to say, “I wish I had …” I want a life full of memories and albums full of pictures. I want my old, wrinkled, gray-headed girlfriends to sit on the porch with me and laugh about our adventures. I want to show my grandchildren pictures of me and my friends standing in Times Square, arms linked. I want to run this race for the prize of unity, laughter, and a fully lived life.”

I want that. I want no regrets. I want friends to the end. And I want to leave a legacy for my daughter to have godly girlfriends who will love her, laugh with her, and go the distance with her until the very end.

Don’t you?

It’s never too late to start living life to the fullest, and making memories you will cherish forever. I’m praying for you this week; that you will purpose to make it happen! And although I can’t see your beautiful faces, God sees, and He knows exactly what you need right now. I trust Him to minister to each of you right where you are.

Girl Talk: Give Grace

Have you ever had a friend that you seemed to be polar opposites with? Maybe she was passionate about her career, and you felt strongly about not working outside the home. You love this part of town, she likes the other. You differ on child-rearing issues, political views, and the list goes on. Well, we all have our ‘bents’ or preferences that make us who we are, and this gives us a great need for grace!

Girl Talk excerpt: “Dear Girls, let your friend be herself. She doesn’t have to be you. You may not agree with her, but give her grace in her preferences as long as they aren’t hurting her. If she thinks this and you think that, it’s okay! Let’s widen the space we live in together. It is the immature heart that won’t allow for diversity. It’s probably not that you are so against her ideas, but her differing opinion feels like an indictment on your own. Maturity understands that her choices are not about you. Resist the urge to project them in to your experience and celebrate them in her life instead.”

Here’s what the Bible has to say about our differences:

Colossians 3:12-13 “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.”

There will likely be times in friendships when one person messes up and blows things. Our first instinct usually is to put down or push away the other person. But what we really need to do is bite our tongues and do away with the sarcastic remarks we feel like saying. This is when we should forget about defending ourselves and our position, and instead we put our arms around our friend’s neck and offer her grace. The grace to just be herself, and to just be your ‘safe’ friend.

Girls, we need to understand that we are not each others’ enemy. But we do have an enemy who will give us places to stumble whenever he can, and when our friend walks into the trap, she is often left filled with shame and regret. So we must forgive as Jesus did, offer grace and hold our friend up, and move on together.

Think about it … what if you were the friend that blew it? Wouldn’t you want that same grace and forgiveness offered to you?

God’s plan is for us to have safe friends that will go the distance with us, and He is more than able to heal the hurts that we cause each other. Girls, is there a friendship you have pushed away from because of hurt feelings or differing opinions? Is there a situation where grace was not extended, and you feel distanced from your friend? If so, pray and ask God to help you with those feelings. Ask Him to fill you with mercy and grace, and to help you forgive your friend and to receive forgiveness from her as well.

Girl Talk: Give Time

Welcome Back Girls - I missed you last week. This next week we will focus on Friendship Builders; things we can and should do to build strong friendships. One of the most important ways we can build great friendships, is by spending time together. This is so fundamental, because it is the only way we will truly get to know each other. That is when we recognize that we can identify with each other – in so many ways!

Girls, we must be willing to invest our time in friendships if we expect to have the heart-to-heart, deep relationships that we desire. It’s not going to ‘just happen’ – we have to purpose to and devote ourselves to have great friendships.

As Jen says in Girl Talk, “Time together affords women immense relief because it allows us to become aware of the many things we have in common. You can’t get to school on time either? Your kids are fighting like Nazi’s, too? You’re suffocating in guilt like I am?. We learn from each other. There is nothing we are completely alone in.” “Outside of time together, we can’t experience this camaraderie. Women begin to feel isolated, shamed: Surely no one feels like I do. I’m the only one who struggles with this. God brings us together, and there is marvelous unity in our common ground. It becomes holy ground.”

Friendships that are healthy can offer so much: laughter, support, companionship, encouragement, etc. Sometimes it’s helping you to move forward when you can’t do it yourself: cooking a meal, keeping your kids when you are sick, cleaning your house during the surgery of a loved one. Many times friends offer rest; a safe place to feel normal in the midst of chaos or tragedy. When nothing else is normal, a great friend will also help you to set boundaries so you can get back to what is normal again.

Plain and simple – we need each other. And if we are too busy to love each other and be that friend –then we are just too busy! We must love our friends and serve them with our time. Of course, there has to be a balance and our families will require more time than our friends. But we must make some time for those friendships.

Jen paints quite a picture for us in Girl Talk, “Time is the breeding ground for memories, inside jokes, stories. It is where you and I progress from knowing about each other to knowing each other. It’s how we make room for playing and laughing together. Time becomes service, offered through the loving hands of girlfriends. It is a string of moments in which we heal, grieve, grow. They are just minutes, but in them we find out we are not alone. You cannot put a value on that kind of discovery.”

I know for most of us, time is a major sacrifice, and it is the thing we have the least of to give away. Girls, the kind of friendships we are talking about here, are so worth the sacrifice. I know how busy we all are, and all the things we have left on our “to do” lists; the activities, the meetings, the laundry. But will it all crumble if you take an hour to have coffee with someone who needs encouragement? Will your house turn to ash while you have a 30 minute conversation with a friend? Maybe – just maybe, that 30 minutes will give you the encouragement you need to keep going when it feels like you can’t. What if that hour of coffee with a friend preserved your sanity and refreshed you to be a sweeter wife and more nurturing mom that afternoon?

So, here we have an opportunity to minister to one another through sacrifice, just as our Lord and Savior did for us. He gave up the very breath He had – He gave His life so we could be in relationship with Him. All we have to do is give up a little time to be in relationship with each other. So, what are you waiting for? Won’t you ask God to evaluate your time, and help you to have a healthy balance with it? Ask Him to show you what portion is good to give to your friends. Then call a friend, get out your calendar, and set a date! You’ll be glad you did.