Girl Talk: Give Grace

Have you ever had a friend that you seemed to be polar opposites with? Maybe she was passionate about her career, and you felt strongly about not working outside the home. You love this part of town, she likes the other. You differ on child-rearing issues, political views, and the list goes on. Well, we all have our ‘bents’ or preferences that make us who we are, and this gives us a great need for grace!

Girl Talk excerpt: “Dear Girls, let your friend be herself. She doesn’t have to be you. You may not agree with her, but give her grace in her preferences as long as they aren’t hurting her. If she thinks this and you think that, it’s okay! Let’s widen the space we live in together. It is the immature heart that won’t allow for diversity. It’s probably not that you are so against her ideas, but her differing opinion feels like an indictment on your own. Maturity understands that her choices are not about you. Resist the urge to project them in to your experience and celebrate them in her life instead.”

Here’s what the Bible has to say about our differences:

Colossians 3:12-13 “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.”

There will likely be times in friendships when one person messes up and blows things. Our first instinct usually is to put down or push away the other person. But what we really need to do is bite our tongues and do away with the sarcastic remarks we feel like saying. This is when we should forget about defending ourselves and our position, and instead we put our arms around our friend’s neck and offer her grace. The grace to just be herself, and to just be your ‘safe’ friend.

Girls, we need to understand that we are not each others’ enemy. But we do have an enemy who will give us places to stumble whenever he can, and when our friend walks into the trap, she is often left filled with shame and regret. So we must forgive as Jesus did, offer grace and hold our friend up, and move on together.

Think about it … what if you were the friend that blew it? Wouldn’t you want that same grace and forgiveness offered to you?

God’s plan is for us to have safe friends that will go the distance with us, and He is more than able to heal the hurts that we cause each other. Girls, is there a friendship you have pushed away from because of hurt feelings or differing opinions? Is there a situation where grace was not extended, and you feel distanced from your friend? If so, pray and ask God to help you with those feelings. Ask Him to fill you with mercy and grace, and to help you forgive your friend and to receive forgiveness from her as well.